This year has been a big one! My goodness, has it ever. The lessons have run so deep… The lessons have transformed me.
Some key themes in 2019.
Vulnerability kept me on my toes. I was humbled many times. I was cracked open, lights shone on shadows, lights bringing forward places begging for growth.
Ayahuasca showed me how tightly I have been holding on. She showed how strong I was standing, holding myself up, always fine… And that maybe it was ok to let go… to be soft… to ask for help. She didn’t stop there, but this was the beginning of a big journey… One that I will speak more on soon.
I’ve learned to release control and trust in universal flow. To trust… That we might not know the right way, but the universe will take care of us no matter where we go. Trust… That everything is happening for our best interest, always.
I learned to face the fear of jumping in with full commitment and dedication, two feet in. Risk is in direct correlation to reward… And, I am banking on my risks being abundant and prosperous. Business expansion is underway- the future is bright, and my success is inevitable.
I have been diving inward… with breathwork, plant medicine, and introspection… Learning to address patterns in myself, my family, and my ancestors. I am peeling back layers and learning to love all parts of myself, unconditionally.
I am learning to be totally transparent, authentic, and real- even when it’s uncomfortable… for myself or for others. There is a great detox of relationships occurring… Keeping the keepers, and letting go of the toxic “no’s.”
2019 reminded me of the importance of trusting my intuition… of listening more closely and of honoring my feelings as they arose. As a clairsentient being, I am stepping in fully and trusting my gut. Energy doesn’t lie… And your body tells you everything. Slow down, get quiet, listen closely.
This year has brought me deep into surrender and letting go. I have cut past heart strings permanently, for the good of new beginnings and moving on.
And, I opened my heart fully to new love… two feet in. It didn’t work out, and I learned… That I still have work to do- that my heart tends to blur my vision… And I have a tendency to compromise my needs for love. So, I am stepping into honoring myself, fully and completely. Trusting that I will find a lover who accepts all parts of me and who walks in true alignment on a high path toward expansion, adventure, and potential. It’s coming. I know he will be worth the wait.
I accidentally tried on sobriety- and it looked really good, so I’m buying it for good. I see that sobriety has guided me toward learning true intimacy and vulnerability, not only with myself, but with others in relationship. Its taught me to lean into the discomfort, to feel my feelings, and to show up for myself in the face of hard times, rather than to avoid or mask them. It’s taught me to honor my energetic knowing and feelings… and to only go places with others where there is a feeling of alignment and resonant frequency- 100% of the time. This is gold. I know that I used to use alcohol to loosen my inhibitions, to make myself feel more comfortable… especially with lovers. Sobriety requires me to check in with myself and my needs and honor them.
This year was big, beautiful, and growth inspired. I invested in myself in multiple ways. I learned how to breathe and facilitate breathwork circles. I bought a few business courses and invested in a coach. I hired professionals to help me expand my dreams… And, I am stepping into more collaboration than ever before. I hold high quality relationships, friends who show up for me in the most important ways. I have created a stunning community of vibrant individuals who love to move… And taught two of my best students to teach… And they are amazing teachers!
I love my life. I feel so good, so held, and so ready for all the good things that 2020 has to bring.
I am honored to hold you in my world, thank you for being here- showing up and shining bright. I see you- thank you for seeing me.
Biggest bright blessings for an epic year ahead… Manifest my loves- this year is bringing it home!
Take this song into the new year with you… May you always dance in your heart.